I listened to this song while writing. If you don't get distracted from music while reading, go click haha!
First of all, watching In The Heart Of The Sea refueled my passion for achieving great things. It doesn't matter how many times I've told you I "refueled my fire" before. I've been lying to you, reader. My passion for achieving great things hasn't been the same since July. Its fluctuation has been frustrating and really quite horrible. I didn't write about it in previous posts because I didn't want to be negative and bring you down by writing over and over about it. Naturally, all I unintentionally ended up doing by pretending to feel better was postpone the emotions I did feel. I bottled them up (they didn't explode) and they became acid that melted my glass-bottle-mind, leaving me exhausted and lost.
Don't do what I did, reader. If a wise friend didn't call me out on it recently, I would never have known. So I'm telling you now. Don't postpone emotions in an attempt to numb them.
My wise friend expressed it to me like this: "Feelings demand to be felt whether we like it or not. Instead of suppressing it and trying to move on, how about you acknowledge that this affects you? ...you can embrace that in a healthy way...so instead of fighting your feelings, let them take over and let yourself feel the hurt."
Now, in this particular situation, the hurt is gone. What I was missing was the drive and passion to keep going and believing in the stories I'm trying to write. Perfectly enough, that's what In The Heart Of The Sea gave back to me. On top of other positive things that have helped me with my personal growth, the closing of this film made me nod, take a deep breath, and get back on my feet.
"Kick ass," said the voice in my head. "Don't listen to anyone else but me, and I say kick ass," to which I replied, "Thank you, creepy voice in my head. Can you please leave now while I process this?"
Someday I want to write about acknowledging the tough times on this long road to dream-chasing, but right now, I'm ready to move forward again. Doubt is just a step away from fear, and if there's any goal I have besides publishing the insanely long list of stories in my head, it's to be fearless (or as close to fearless as I can be). After all, as one of my inspirations once said, "I never get afraid of things. I only get excited."
I'll see you next time, okay? We're in the heart of the road, reader. There's no point in turning back.