I Feel You, Lin. I Feel You.

What an inspiration. Lin-Manuel Miranda started working on Hamilton in 2008. Eight years later, his musical is nominated for 16 Tony Awards and wins 11 of them.

I've been working on my own big idea since 2011. It's a long and bumpy road but:

There's a million things I haven't done,
But just you wait,
Just you wait.

Much love,

In The Heart Of The Road

I listened to this song while writing. If you don't get distracted from music while reading, go click haha!

Once in a blue moon, I'll stumble on a story that really hits home. Much like strangers who give off the presence of long lost friends, stories that hit home are unexpected and magical. They stay in our thoughts and hearts long after we've heard or seen them, and whatever we do with that lingering impression is up to us. That lingering impression is what I'd like to write about in this entry.

First of all, watching In The Heart Of The Sea refueled my passion for achieving great things. It doesn't matter how many times I've told you I "refueled my fire" before. I've been lying to you, reader. My passion for achieving great things hasn't been the same since July. Its fluctuation has been frustrating and really quite horrible. I didn't write about it in previous posts because I didn't want to be negative and bring you down by writing over and over about it. Naturally, all I unintentionally ended up doing by pretending to feel better was postpone the emotions I did feel. I bottled them up (they didn't explode) and they became acid that melted my glass-bottle-mind, leaving me exhausted and lost.

Don't do what I did, reader. If a wise friend didn't call me out on it recently, I would never have known. So I'm telling you now. Don't postpone emotions in an attempt to numb them.

My wise friend expressed it to me like this: "Feelings demand to be felt whether we like it or not. Instead of suppressing it and trying to move on, how about you acknowledge that this affects you? ...you can embrace that in a healthy way...so instead of fighting your feelings, let them take over and let yourself feel the hurt."

Now, in this particular situation, the hurt is gone. What I was missing was the drive and passion to keep going and believing in the stories I'm trying to write. Perfectly enough, that's what In The Heart Of The Sea gave back to me. On top of other positive things that have helped me with my personal growth, the closing of this film made me nod, take a deep breath, and get back on my feet.

"Kick ass," said the voice in my head. "Don't listen to anyone else but me, and I say kick ass," to which I replied, "Thank you, creepy voice in my head. Can you please leave now while I process this?"

Someday I want to write about acknowledging the tough times on this long road to dream-chasing, but right now, I'm ready to move forward again. Doubt is just a step away from fear, and if there's any goal I have besides publishing the insanely long list of stories in my head, it's to be fearless (or as close to fearless as I can be). After all, as one of my inspirations once said, "I never get afraid of things. I only get excited."

I'll see you next time, okay? We're in the heart of the road, reader. There's no point in turning back.

- Louisa

Here We Go, 2016!

Funny. My last entry talks about how I forgot to consider something in my writing...when I did consider it in the entry preceding it. And in the entry before that. Haha . . . why?

Anyway, hello, reader of 2016! Boy, does it feel amazing to start over. I'm glad to say that I started the year with my loved ones and the open document of my third manuscript. Honest. It was 12:02, I hugged my sleepy family, and then sat down to work on my new book.

If you've been following my past posts, you'll see that, yes, I had to say goodbye to my epistolary novel. Simply put, it wasn't catching the interest of agents I wanted to be represented by. But you know what? That second manuscript was great practice to come up with something better. I'm three chapters into my new novel and I'm very proud of how it's coming along. I still have to find that special, emotional spark to make it feel as impactful as the books in my series, but I know I'll find it soon enough. Surprisingly, it falls under a genre I never thought I'd want to write.

Yes. That genre is none other than romance.

Of course, I'm more in love with otherworldly, magical elements, so I decided to make it a dark fantasy romance novel. It's. So. Exciting! Starting something new and completely unplanned! Coincidentally, I found some real life inspiration to use as a sort of guide to help me write from my beloved female protagonist's point of view. Emotion is important in writing, reader. After all, if you don't feel your own characters' emotions, how are you going to write about it and convince the reader to feel the same?

I'll come right out and say that romance is tricky business, especially because I'm very comfortable with being alone. That's why it's funny to me that out of all the times for me to develop a crush, it's now. Maybe I should take that as a sign that this third novel's the charm into getting my foot through the publishing door?

All that's really left to report is that I'm reconnecting with old friends that truly make my heart happy. (There's amazing comfort in being able to let go of people that bring us down). I also passed my test to apply for a substitute teaching permit, so I'm starting my "training" as my old teacher's aid as soon as the semester starts. I may be subbing, but I still want to be able to do more than pop movies in the TV for the kids to watch. I want to teach too.

You know, I'm not entirely sure what else to write for this entry. Here. Have a little read that jumpstarted this very entry: If You're a Writer, Here's Why You Can't Distrust Your Emotions.

Happy first week of the year!

- Louisa

Another Year, Same Hurdle

Admiring buildings on Main Street. Except this time I'm jumping over it. I have to say, this year is starting off great. On the...